What Every A Couple Who Is Married Or
in a Committed Love Relationship Needs To Know About
Overcoming Communication Problems Fueled by
Arguments, Conflict, Distance and Disconnection.
(How to Deliver A Personalized, Laser Focused
Message Your Spouse/Partner Can Hear)
From the desk of Melva and Jesse Johnson
Re: Overcoming communication problems fueled by arguments, conflict, distance and disconnection.
The following is a message for every couple who is married or in a committed love relationship and need to communicate more effectively through conflict, but can’t overcome the aftermath of negative feelings.
Here’s a huge problem you face right now, you’re interacting like enemies in the heat of the moment.
But that’s not the end of the problem…
What makes this even worse is the fact that when couples feel like they are facing their enemy, it means that enemy is a threat to their emotional safety and well being. Surviving the threat becomes the focus. This automatically leads to each partner reaching into their arsenal of defensive tools to protect themselves from the threat. Those protective, defensive tools include attacking or avoiding the threat by fighting, fleeing, freezing, playing dead or submitting.
Both partners now have tunnel vision and get stuck in a vicious cycle and endless loop of kinked, twisted, distorted and nonproblem solving communication with a laser focus to overcome the threat and win.
This is where communication breaks down and where the damage is done.
The natural consequence of tunnel vision is blind spots to the potential and possibilities for more effective options and choices to solve the problem at hand. And therefore, one partner might win the battle – the argument – but both lose the war and self defense becomes the blueprint and norm for how to be together during conflict.
We can not solve a problem with
the same thinking we had when we created it.
This means trying to solve a problem at the level that it was created keeps couples stuck in frustrating, hurting and wounding each other as well as consequently damaging the bond and foundation of the relationship. That foundation begins to erode and weaken.
And, worst of all, many couples believe their self-defense is justified, but their partner’s self-defense is not.
The best way that we know of for couples to begin to solve the problem at another level of thinking and acting is for each partner to have a system to interrupt the current negative communication pattern and replace it with one that effectively dissolves, resolves or manages the problem.
The first step requires each partner to begin within to get to the roots of their hurt feelings beneath the surface in order to gain awareness about the “big Why” and intention for their defensive, reactive words and actions. The second step is to develop compassion for their self-defense, the pre-requisite for developing compassion for their partner’s defense. The third step is to become clear about what can and cannot changed to interrupt the negative, nonproblem interaction system. The fourth step is to develop a plan to replace that system.
A core, essential component of replacing the current, nonproblem solving system is changing the message from one that is grounded in defense to one that is grounded in good will to repair the hurt, restore a loving connection, and promotes growth.
Trying to figure all of this out can become a nightmare! But luckily for you, there’s a solution!
So, if you’re tired of having the same argument/conflict over and over and want to know what to do to get relief from conflict, but can’t overcome the aftermath of negative feelings, here’s the answer you’ve been looking for…
Six Steps to Change Your Thinking to
Support More Choices to Communicate
More Effectively, Especially During Conflict
COMMUNICATE TO CONNECT IN ACTION
Communicate to Connect In Action is a 6 week online course for couples, and includes:
How Your Brain is
Hard-Wired for Reactivity
The human brain is hard-wired for self-absorption and monologue. Discover your internal system that fuels how you react to your partner and what you can and cannot change about that.
Discover your First Responder feelings of vulnerability, and uncover their Positive Intention and Purpose in your relationship. You’ll prepare for the next step: to process these important emotions with compassion.
Stop Living in Parallel Worlds During Conflict
Your relationship history does affect how you react to your mate in the present. Discover the deep roots of how and why you view your mate the way you do during conflict.
Become Solution Focused
The solution for effective change lies beneath the surface at the root of the problem and it is probably not what you think. Develop your solution focused mindset.
Discover your true message with laser focus beyond the current endless loop of kinked, twisted, distorted and nonproblem solving reaction. Clarity about this is essential to turning things around.
Be the Change
You Want to See
This is where we support you to put it all together. Discover how to prepare your true message in a way that matches a new way of thinking and a new way of acting that invites repair and healing for your relationship and fosters growth for you.
Confidential and private. Ask questions and receive practical guidance with your specific relationship.
Join our growing, private Facebook Group of Communicate to Connect members, get daily inspiration and support.
We’ll provide the files necessary to read Communicate to Connect In Action online, on your phone or in your Kindle.
Listen to Communicate to Connect on the go. Listen on your phone, on your computer, in iTunes or wherever you are.
And of course you’re protected:
100% Risk-FREE Guarantee
If “Communicate to Connect In Action” doesn’t show you exactly how to communicate a message about your desire to do your part to repair the damage from conflict… if it doesn’t take you by the hand, step-by-step to communicate a message designed to restore a mutual nurturing, caring and respectful connection… or if it fails to help you communicate a message that fosters mutual compassion and cultivates mutual support, then you will receive a full refund. No Questions Asked!
Who are Jesse and Melva Johnson
And Why Should I Listen To Them?
As Marriage/Couples/Relationship Coaches & Counselors, we are committed to supporting healthy relationships. We personally know the ups and downs of relationships as we’ve been practicing in ours for 30+ years!
We have over our 60+ years of combined experience as psychotherapists, relationship educators, workshop leaders, public speakers, authors and consultants. Melva holds a Master’s Degree in Social Work from the University of Michigan and is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, Workshop Presenter and Consultant. Jesse holds a Master’s Degree in Humanistic and Clinical Psychology from the Michigan Graduate School of Professional Psychology and is a certified Imago Relationship Therapist and Consultant.
We have worked hard to live the message we teach—in our marriage and family, and as business partners. Our marital journey began as a “blended family.” We were determined to create a successful life experience for ourselves and our two minor sons from Jesse’s previous marriage. To be successful, we had to overcome the internal and external influences, pressures, and conflicts that often tear families like ours apart.
about overcoming the aftermath of hurt feelings from conflict.
“While our culture has plenty of relationship advice that makes good sense, this highlights the specific strategic interventions that truly transform relationship…not only has spent years in research, they live life like their material…”
Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.
Author of Faith & Feminism and Giving the Love That Heals
“Jesse and Melva walk their talk and live the lessons they teach people who are having difficulty in their relationships…their relationship is the greatest gift and inspiration.”
Best-Selling Author, Host Iyanla Fix My Life
“Jesse and Melva Johnson bring Imago Therapy to greater light, helping all of us more deeply understand what love is and how to attain it.”
“Experience was safe. Very educational-informative. I highly recommend it to anyone who has no hair left. They were (the presenters) very receptive & compassionate. I did not feel alone.”
Weekend Workshop Participant
So, go ahead, CLICK THE BUTTON ABOVE right now and you’re well on your way to overcoming hurt feelings from conflict. Do it now before the exclusive bonuses get pulled forever or the price goes up. Don’t miss this breakthrough 6 Week Online Course for Couples that will show you exactly delivering a personalized, laser focused message your spouse/partner can hear.
See you on the inside,
Jesse and Melva Johnson
P.S. – Never before have you had such a unique opportunity to have this PROVEN system to overcome conflict by just changing your message. Get in on this 6 Week Online Course for Couples now before there is more damage to your relationship! Click Here Now! This gem will be sold for $197 per person. This introductory price of $97 is a “Register NOW before it’s gone” offer… so act fast!…
P.P.S. – Let’s be blunt: If you pass on this offer, will you succeed overcoming conflict with your current communication system? Probably not! You’ll just keep struggling and never figure out how to shift out of the tunnel vision and blind spots that keep you stuck!
Most of what you need is guidance, support and encouragement from a married couple who has successfully “been there and done that!” Get this 6 Week Online Course for Couples NOW and get started in developing your new, personalized system to do your part to overcome barriers to talking to your spouse or mate more effectively.
Act now! Enroll now! Your satisfaction is guaranteed. Click here!