“At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”
To us that means whether a person feels connected and close to the one they love.
The problem is that too many couples make mistakes that stop them “dead in their tracks” from having the experience they desire.
Are you and your partner making any of these mistakes?
Mistake #1: Practicing the Golden Rule in Giving to Each Other
This is a mistake because the “Golden Rule” is about giving to one’s partner what the giver wants for themselves.
This causes problems because both partners don’t always want the same thing to feel close and connected.
Instead of practicing the “Golden Rule” in giving to each other, it is important to practice the “Platinum Rule” which is partners giving each other what the other wants. This requires taking time to ask and get clarity so that each gift hits the “bulls eye”
Dr. Gary Chapman has beautifully provided a guide in his bestselling book, The Five Love Languages.
Not practicing the “Platinum Rule leads to Mistake #2
Mistake #2: Focusing on what is wrong with their spouse or partner and the relationship rather than what is right,
This is a mistake because of the Universal Principle that Arnold Patent describes in his book, You Can Have it All, that “what a person focus on expands”
With this awareness in mind, instead of focusing on what is wrong with a spouse or partner and the relationship, a more effective strategy is to focus on what is right and what each partner wants to feel closer and more connected.
Not following through on this awareness leads to Mistake #3
Mistake #3: Lack of mutual emotional support.
This is a mistake because mutual emotional support is an important piece of the fabric of the foundation of a relationship.
Instead of allowing mutual emotional support to leak from the foundation of the relationship, it is important for couples to develop a system of listening with curiosity and compassion to what each partner needs for emotional support.
All three mistakes lead to a feeling of mild, to a moderate or serious feeling of disconnection and distance for one or both partners that put stress on the foundation of the relationship
Now that you know the top 3 Closeness and connection mistakes and how to avoid them, we’d like to invite you to take your next success steps with our “7 Day Challenge for Couples to Start the New Year Stronger”
If you and your spouse or partner want to start the New Year stronger by feeling closer and connected, click here: http://jesseandmelva.com/go/7dayblog/